To the anonymous person who received this,

I was bored, curious, and have seen other people do this. Write a random letter and let whomever the birs chooses correspond with them. So I thought I would give it a try for a lark.

If you are up to it, let's play a game. My only rule in this game is I don't want to know your real name. Since I have no idea how far the bird will fly makes it more enticing, yes? I suppose this will be cathardic in a way.

I suppose I should say that I am a male and still attending Hogwarts. Do you know how much privacy you get surrounded by four other guys? Any tips?

- Need relief!

Well, what a way to wake up this morning penpal!

I too have seen others do this and it went rather negatively, I am glad to hear you're attending Hogwarts because I too attend it. That checks you off as some creepy weird old dude. I don't want to know your real name, I'm too cool for that! Your bird didn't fly that far, who knows... I could be sitting next to you at breakfast and don't even know it.

A request I make is that the information we share stays between us, I don't want some other git giving you or myself away. Who knows, you could be my worst enemy and would want to remove my testicles and wear them as earrings.

I usually put a silencing charm on them when they're not looking, they usually figure it out quickly enough to get out of the dorm room. I make a point of cutting myself off and ignoring people, I don't associate much with people even if they're from the same house.

Perhaps it would help if you weren't fapping away with your bed curtains open, usually that's done in private.

Chin up,
Fluffy

Fluffy?! You have innumerable names and what not to choose from and you chose fluffy? That makes me think of fairy floss.

You have me curious, how did it end negatively?

You sound like a Gryffindor saying you're too cool. False bravado or maybe just delusional? As for an old creep for all you know I could be lying and just want you to think I'm a student.

Granted. I can agree as long as its mutual. And that was a nasty image. If I was to remove your testicles I would make you watch as I fed them to the crows.

Another loner, we make a pair. Is yours by choice?

You really think I would be that stupid? I'm not an exhibitionist. Its telling really that your first thought jumps to flogging my log. I'm guessing dancing to you would be a euphemism for sex as well. I could have been asking where I could direct them so I wouldn't have to hear or see them.

Perhaps I should send you lotion so you don't chafe. And its not my bird. Belongs to the school. I don't own a pet. If I did it would have to be travel size friendly. If left at home my evil stepmother would "accidently" kill it or say it ran away.

- You suck at cheering people up

I like fairy floss. My favorite color is probably green but then again, it all tastes the same.

Delusional sounds about right, false bravado and security.
Dancing? Now we're getting some where, though I can't guarantee I won't step on your feet during the waltz. I was never a dancy person, unless it was a fight dance. Those things I can dance to.

I just get angry and people scamper off, I have a temper at the best of times and no one has really been able to handle it. Otherwise I tell them that unless they're going to sleep then they should go down to the common room, I like being alone.

So a dog is out of the question, one that bites back? Aren't there wolves out there that are immune to magic?

I'm a loner, social skills are lacking. Sue me.
- Fluffy

Not calling you fluffy,

Then you're getting it from the wrong place. I've had candy corn flavoured (orangey-yellow), watermelon (green), vanilla (what you probably had), orange (orange). I'll see if I can get some for you to try. I like the watermelon and vanilla the best myself.

Fight dance? Like Kung Fu fighting? Then that means I'll lead. My grandmother taught to me to dance. Said girls would appreciate me not breaking their toes or scuffing their shoes.

You're a scary angry person. Will add that to my list. I just don't like people and you never know when they will leave. You sound like you're an upper year. You're not a Prefect are you?

Direwolves maybe? But they're mythical or extinct aren't they? She would find a way. And dogs would be out of the question. My half-sister is 9 months old. So no animals that could eat a baby.

Would suing you be worth it? If not, I'll pass. I'm not big on social graces myself.

- need to find a good nom de plume

But one day when you meet me, you might as well call me Fluffy.

Watermelon is my fave!

Something like kung fu, only a lot more blood and guts coming into the equation but I won't go into it. I don't want to scare you. It's a tale for another time.

I can't help being an angry person, I hate it actually, I am the opposite of my mother. She is caring, gentle and reasonable whereas my father is the complete opposite. I can be like my mother but its kinda hard, I have a Mr Jeckle and Mr Hyde going on. No, I'm not a prefect. I'm to much of a scary angry person for that. No one would look at me twice let alone say hello in the corridors, no one would give me a chance because I'm quiet and I don't live up to my house name.

Everyone leaves eventually, they all have their reasons. It's like when people die and move onto the next world, what was their reason to sense a new adventure? Did someone walk out on you birdy? Parents? Friends? Other family members?

If you're feeling lonely or want someone to talk to, I'm happy to listen.

That's my nickname for you since the first letter came by a bird.

Yeah, those Direwolves that were recorded to deflect spells. I don't know much about them but I think there is a book in the library on them called Animal Extrodinair. Read up on it and get back to me, I can't read it but it would be awesome to know some more detail. I can't get too close to the section without feeling like I'm being judged.

Anyways, off to an exam... WISH ME LUCK!

Never. Fluffy is something you name a cat.

You some kind of horror fan? If you like blood and guts maybe I should see if the people where I spend my summers would allow you to hang about.

You've just given my plenty of clues to try and find out who you are. So basically you're a contridiction. Must be nice though knowing where some of your traits come from. My mother chose life in the muggle word before I was even old enough to attend school. That's all I'll tell you now. My father might as well have chosen the muggle world as well. I think the only time when I see him during the summer is for dinner, sometimes.

That rules you out of Ravenclaw. Someone in Ravenclaw would have come up with something more witty. You're not helping dissuade me that you're a Gryffindor.

You have intrigued me. I bieve I will see about this book. As for you feeling judged...are you a werewolf, relative of one, or know one? Or is it because the subject matter itself? The upper years are allowed all kinds of creature and animal books?

Luck.

- Birdy (it appeals to my humour)

Birdy,

Today was a bit of a rough day, I am quite glad I have something to look forward to every few days and those are our letters. I was up most of the night and I was sure the Potions professor was going to hex me for messing up my potion.

Did you hear the werewolves howling last night? It was the full moon, I know a few people who are wolves. some may or may not be in the family.

You wouldn't be able to pick what house I am in, I am under the radar though I will admit I have been trying to figureout who you are since the first message.

Maybe one day we could go find your mum together, an adventure! I love adventures and stuff. I love camping too in the middle of butt fudge no where. I presume if I swear you might find me inappropriate. You could come have dinner with my parents if you like, while I hate my parents sometimes like most kids do, they like to look after my friends and protect them as their own.

About that book, if you can tell me about the information you find and your opinion... I might just tell you a little more.

ugh. What a day.

Toodles.

Fluffy,

Not much of a Potions person are you? I wouldn't get on the wrong side of Professor Malfoy for anything. I would believe him hexing you. Or worse, making you drink whatever potion you cocked up.

I thought I dreampt that. I checked out that book you were talking about. Fell asleep reading it actaully. Very intriguing. I will see if I can get the owls to deliver it to you since I can't hand it to you personally.

I believe you have enough clues. As for your house I've ruled you out of mine.

I don't know. Why would I want to go looking for a woman that abandoned me? She won't recognize me even if we did finx her. She chose the muggle world. You know what happens. The law states her memory will be forfeit. She wouldn't even remember she has a son.

Adventures? I am seeing a pattern. If you're not in Gryffindor then you're in the wrong house. Or vert good at masking your true self. Camping in the middle of bloody nowhere? Maybe? I sort of camp....

Pfft. You've already accused me of being obsessed with fapping so, I think we've already crossed inappropriate. Dinner with your parents? Aren't you movingba little fast? You haven't even asked me out on a datd yet and you're already trying to introduce me to the parents. I'm sure you tell them all your dates are friends.

Who?! I looked him up. He was a Slytherin that knew how to stand out. Are you related or something? He disapoeared back in the 70's. And Headmaster Snape always looks like that.

Urgh, I swear the next time my roomate decides he wants to try some firewhiskey, I'm going to drown him in it!!! Apparently after getting drunk, throwing up, and passing out, he snores like a chinsaw!

- Birdy

P.s. know any good ways to murder a roomate without getting caught? Not serious.

Birdy.

I don't mind potions actually, it's like cooking... almost. Though it is more deadly.
Who knows, maybe one day you will want that connection with her? Maybe if you need closure or something later on in life... you may want to see if she's happy. What if she's struggling and you could be a good Samaritan and do something good like paying it forward? Maybe one day all the rules will change and she will be allowed to be back in the Wizarding world? Who knows Birdy. If it was me, I'd want to know if she's happy - if she has a family are they ok?

I'm the type of person who can deal with things so as long as there is closure. I'd hate not knowing something.

Doesn't have to be a date, just mates meeting up for a good feed! But, if you're that type of person...

I, Fluffy, coridinaly invite Birdy for a dinner date (date to be decided) at the Fluffy Mansion. Please dress in what ever you want! Just don't walk through a butchershop, cannot guarantee a game of tips with someone else's jaws.

Actually, I don't have very many friends. I prefer my own company but sometimes, when I am forced to 'make friends' I do. Team projects in class aren't my strong suit but I get through.

All you need to do is put a silencing charm on them, they can be located in a faded purple leather book on the third shelf in the charms section, should be four books along from the right. They're tricky to cast but once you get the hang of them they're easy. Good luck!

I was going to say, if you wanted something to make it look like an accident - I could think of some ideas. They are rather sneaky and cunning.

- A very soaked fluffy - that ain't so fluffy anymore.

Not fluffy would make you limpy ^.-

I suppose so. Won't know until I cross that bridge. Some knowledge isn't worth the price you have to pay to obtain it.

....You just cordially and officially asked me out. Won't your girlfriend be upset? I'm not sure having a jealous girl ready to gouge out my eyes and wear my bits as jewelry would be worth it. So I guess going starkers would be out?

I'm the same way. But then again most of my house are pillocks and don't partner well either.

Found it where you said it.would be. Now I know you're not afraid of a book. And come here often to know the exact placement. Unless you tried to set it up as a trap to find out who I am?

Oh, I got my revenge. All day he thought he was naked when he wasn't. Hypnotism combined with a compulsion charm. Works wonders.

Do I want to know or is this another of your euphemisms?

- Birdy

Birdy bird!

How in the world do you stop teenage girls from talking about their 'lady time' in the plain open of the common room!? Holy Merlin's Balls! I wanted to hex the bloody lot of them! Thankfully the Head of House came in and had words with them, I think one of the other boys reported them and their discussions. I know I was getting sick to my stomach. If something can bleed for a month and not die, there is something wrong with it.

They promptly went on talking about it, albiet a little bit more quietly after the HoH left. I like things a little more simpler and specifically if they don't bleed for a week and don't die.

On the topic of your mum - I wouldn't mind having an adventure buddy. Who cares, if we don't get to the destination and get a little side tracked - at least we can say we did it! I wanna go to a fair - never been to one. I hear there is an awesome place in the US that I can't quite remember.

I like someone but they'd NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS acknowledge I exist let alone be able to handle the wholeness that is me. I can be a bit of a handful but I just have a feeling they could handle me, I dunno. I've admired for ages but - they just don't seem to see me. I have wanted to tell them but - I don't feel secure enough about myself to let someone else in. Make sense?

ANYWAYS. New topic before I go nuts with trying to explain.

I'll let you decide.

- Limpy Fluffy.

Fluffy,

It took me ages to stop laughing! My dormmates thought I was having some sort of fit! I think they were having you on. Females bleed for a week. Unless its menopause (no idea how to spell this word). Are they sneaking middle aged birds to your dorms now Fluffy?

As for what to do why didn't you silence them? I'm sure there are more than ons way to get a girl to stop talking. Or you could just relocate?

We had festivals when I lived overseas. Haven't been to one in years. That sounds like a must do! I wouldn't mind going to this fair of yours.
And I've never been to the United States.

I suppose? How do you know they won't be able to handle you unless you actually talk to them? I'm sure they see you but maybe they don't know you're interested? Maybe see if you have anything in common?

Limp again? Is that because those birds tired you out or are you, imagining your mystery person?

What do you plan on becoming when you graduate? I'm still not sure... Is it bad that I have yet to realize what career I want while my peers seem to have already mapped theirs out?

- Birdy

Some females I know bleed for 3-4 weeks - call it being 'in heat'. It's weird.

So shoving my dirty socks in their mouths count as silencing them? They're pretty ripe and I wouldn't wish them on anyone.

I have a confidence issue with this, this is the first person I have liked.... ever. They're intelligent, handsome, intriguing..... dare I say sexy.

NO! JUST GETTING STARTED BABY! - no I have an essay I need to start, Malfoy gave it to me to bring up my grade. Ugh. Not happy. Looks like an all nighter as it is due tomorrow.

I haven't decided yet either, where ever the wind takes me I guess. Everyone is weird. I have decided that just now - except my special person - they're just my special person.

- Super fluffy!

Yeah, that is very weird. And mKes me curious about what kind of people you socialize with.

Nooooo, killing them is frowned upon. Would you want "Died of asphyxiation due to noxious odious stockings" to be their orbituary? Nevermind, that sounds amusing, do it!

Awww your first crush, poor you. Find out what they like. Maybe find a way for them to approach you if you can't go to them?

I don't envy you at all. I'm average at Potions. But at least I haven't been docked any points or given detentions in his class.

I'm hurt! - just kidding. So your special person knows what they want do they? Lucky person.

You seem in a better mood. That's good. What do you think about those girls petitioning to get drama put back in the clubs? They have W.A.D.A. (Wizarding Academy of Dramatic Arts) when they graduate if that's what they want to do. I personally wouldn't mind the club just to see the choas and hilarity that would ensue.

- Birdy

I hate these ruddy quills! Don't get me wrong, they produce nice penmenship but these feathers! They're impossible! Which is why I'm sure even you can tell the difference between quill and biro.

I confess that I cheat. I take notes in pen while doing actual work with a quill. So what is one of your secrets?

Also...I found something weird. You know that really old clunker of a motor car that rables about the forest? I think its friends with the giant squid. Why else would it be atop that jalopy and visiting the Whomping Willow?

- Birdy

P.S. Was irritated and had to vent somehow. Hope you don't mind.

There are more weirder things in the Forbidden forrest than those two. The crowd I am apart of are called Werewolves to be exact.

So you like the dramatic arts eh?

I have a no mess quill.

I tried. He sneered at me.

I KNEW IT!!!

Don't worry, I'm not going to go into all the questions that you are usually asked. Although, I suppose I do have to ask one thing. Its just you're told one thing but unless you can read minds or whatever then you can't take what they say as fact. That being said....Does this mean you can tell me if kibble really is 'made with all natural ingredients'?

Only half joking there mate.

And no, not interested in the 'arts'. The only interest I have in them is to be able to lie without a tell.

Must make a note of that. I still prefer my biro thank you. Maybe because it didn't use to be a piece of butt plumage.

Maybe you had something on your face? Or it wasn't a good day? Did he outright tell you not interested? If not, I say try again.

До следующего моего друга!

What the bloody hell Birdy? I don't speak that language.

I tried to talk to him and get his attention really nicely but I guess he wasn't interested in being spoken to. It pained me so bad that by the time I got outside, I was furious and felt like doing something nasty to anyone who came near me. Here is to being a lonely old hag with a bajillion cats.

Kibble depends on the brand. There's a new one coming out soon that says 'all natural' guess I will have to ask the others for their opinions.

I can lie without telling. It will just depend on how well I control my emotions.

I would be surprised if you did. It was Russian. Have fun trying to translate.

Cats wouldn't go near you dogbreath. And a hag really? Maybe he had something that made him anti-social that day? Girls aren't the only ones who get moods. Who knows, maybe he received a letter he didn't like. And as you said you two are strangers. Maybe he didn't know if your intentions were false.

Please tell me you are joking. If you really eat kibble is it no wonder your crush didn't eant to be in the same breathing space?

I have to study and find a way to get even with my snoring roommate.

- Birdy

You are an annoying bloody person, I had to sit in the library looking for bloody books on how to translate that bloody sentence. Until next my friend. Asshole.

I brush my teeth twice a day, I floss and I use mouth wash. No doggy breath here!
I had been nice to him since we started school, treat others the way you want to be treated. I get picked on a lot for that.

I do not eat kibble! I eat normal human food stuffs. My fave would have to be steak though, nothing like a good steak.

Easy - smother them with their pillow.

- Fluffy

I am grinning right now and very smug. Yes, I am an annoying person. And you would have been boring and not so fun if you didn't try and at least try and figure it out. And are you saying that we're not friends? How sad.

Maybe he doesn't know how to react towards that? Do you know anything about his homelife? Maybe he's had it rough like we have so doesn't know what to make of your seeming niceness. Not a lot of people believe that there are no strings attached.

Typical dog answer.

Again, murder is rather frowned upon. I am trying to find something that can't be pinned on me and will be very damaging to them. Maybe emotional blackmail. That's something to look into.

-Birdy

To the birdy I want to chase after in the sky,

Why don't you investigate their home life? Maybe they have sleep apnia or something going on with their tonsils that causes them to snore. I just case an ear-plug like charm when my room mates have one of those days - it's just become habit now.

How have you been? I am not saying we're not friends. I have no strings attached to this - does that make me a nice person? Only thing I am getting out of it is someone who will happily talk to me and so far, very non-judgemental.

One day I hope to find someone like you, who will accept me for the awesomeness that I am without judgement. It just hurts so much, I don't like hurting. I got word that my mum is sick again - she has this blood disease I think. It's not cancer - but an autoimmune deficiency. I think that's how you say it.

I'm going to save her - I have been researching so much stuff I think I could be a walking talking ravenclaw by the end of it. Might have to talk to the sorting hat to change houses possibly.

One day we should meet - I would love nothing more to tackle you and cover you in slobber. Just to make you squeal like a girl and go 'eeeeewwwwww!!!' while swiftly protecting my nuts from potential damage.

Take care,
The Masculine Fluffy

To the dog who needs a new name

Really? I must not be up to snuff. I think I am a very judgemental person.

There is no one like me dog-breath. And I don't think anyone [u]likes[/i] hurting and/or pain. Unless you're a masochist. You're not one are you? I will not say sorry; since it wouldn't do any good and I believe that people only say that out of awkwardness in those situations. I will say I hope that she will get better for you.

I don't think the hat sorts based on intellectual knowledge. You have to have 'wit' which is not another word for smarts. There is also qualifications I don't think you possess.

I would certainly nut you and possibly remove your tongue. But it would be..nice to find out who I've been writing to. Too bad this is the last owl I can send you this year. I will try and write you again if you wish it over the summer.

-Birdy

Hey Birdy,

Have a great summer yeah? I would like to keep owling you - it will make my summer go better I think. Mum isn't doing so great so it would be nice to have someone cheer me up.

I do have wit! I have qualifications!

Looking forward to chatting,
Fluff ball